we all hate each other
no one cares
friends for 4 years become nothing
we all pretend to like each other
when really, we don't
we know every fault.. every problem
everything's fucked up so bad it's ridiculous
the world has gone to shit.
what the hell
betrayal is the worst.
lying.
dammit all
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Thursday, February 24, 2011
i'm okay with it
Life is so different now. Everything is trivial; what used to be exciting, fun, and delightful have become nothing but wastes of time. I don't think anymore. I don't care anymore. Nothing really matters.
Friends.. barely any left. Just my boys. Glad to have them. Only things that are keeping me sane.
I need to get away, and relax. Go run in the snow. Meet new people. Exercise.
I need something new
Friends.. barely any left. Just my boys. Glad to have them. Only things that are keeping me sane.
I need to get away, and relax. Go run in the snow. Meet new people. Exercise.
I need something new
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Feels good man.
Wake up early, and miss my math class at college. Can't make up the 20 point quiz that is assigned every friday. Would I regret it? Is it even worth it, to go to competition? The fact that I could just fail, and go home without a sense of accomplishment, leaves me questioning whether or not it was a good decision. But it's too late. I'm there, and not-so-ready to go. Did I study? Well, I took a quick look over chapter 34, for what it's worth. But other than that, no, I did not study. Maybe that would be another decision I would regret afterwards. I didn't know. I didn't have time to think about either, as I had to compete right away.
Took the hour long test, leaving seconds to spare. Was I confident? A bit. The questions didn't seem too difficult. Thought I got at least a 70, give or take 10 points. And then came the role-plays. We went in, planned it out. Nervous? No. Calm? No. I was just.. confident, but not overly confident. We walked in and sat in front of the judges. Am I speaking too fast? Slow down. Did I leave something out? Did he forget something? Oh jeez. And finally, we finish, thank the judges, walk out. Thoughts: I forgot this and that. What next? My individual role-play. Walk in, and feel like I have all the time in the world. Reality: didn't finish my notes. This time I was nervous. I felt rushed, and wasn't very confident. I wasn't prepared, and began forgetting what I had just remembered. I go in, and I stutter; I make mistakes. Leave in doubt, but not so much doubt, as I have another chance in about 10 minutes. Next one, go. Begin working as soon as I take my seat. Still no time to write down a solid plan. Nervous again. Go in, destroy it. As I was speaking, ideas came to me. Improv at its best. Finish, and thank the judges. The last competitor of the day. Hallway empty, already cleaned out.
Award ceremony. Buying and merchandising. No place. How am I feeling? Less than confident. Finally my individual role-play: Retail Merchandising. 3rd place: not me. 2nd place: not me. By this point I had already accepted my loss. There was no hope. Already began thinking, I tried. Should've just gone to math. 1st place, from Shorewood high school - my name. I hear it, and I don't believe it. I get up and .. do some celebrating. I accept my medal, and sit down in my seat with pride.
What a long story. But really, it felt so good to have accomplished something for once. To prove myself and others that I can do it. That I have what it takes. To gain respect from my peers and my parents. It was good stuff. I remember last year, not placing. I thought, whatever. It's not that big of a deal. It's okay. But I realize how stupid that is. Of course it feels good to win, I was so .. excuse my less than extensive diction, happy. Now I just have to keep this up.
Took the hour long test, leaving seconds to spare. Was I confident? A bit. The questions didn't seem too difficult. Thought I got at least a 70, give or take 10 points. And then came the role-plays. We went in, planned it out. Nervous? No. Calm? No. I was just.. confident, but not overly confident. We walked in and sat in front of the judges. Am I speaking too fast? Slow down. Did I leave something out? Did he forget something? Oh jeez. And finally, we finish, thank the judges, walk out. Thoughts: I forgot this and that. What next? My individual role-play. Walk in, and feel like I have all the time in the world. Reality: didn't finish my notes. This time I was nervous. I felt rushed, and wasn't very confident. I wasn't prepared, and began forgetting what I had just remembered. I go in, and I stutter; I make mistakes. Leave in doubt, but not so much doubt, as I have another chance in about 10 minutes. Next one, go. Begin working as soon as I take my seat. Still no time to write down a solid plan. Nervous again. Go in, destroy it. As I was speaking, ideas came to me. Improv at its best. Finish, and thank the judges. The last competitor of the day. Hallway empty, already cleaned out.
Award ceremony. Buying and merchandising. No place. How am I feeling? Less than confident. Finally my individual role-play: Retail Merchandising. 3rd place: not me. 2nd place: not me. By this point I had already accepted my loss. There was no hope. Already began thinking, I tried. Should've just gone to math. 1st place, from Shorewood high school - my name. I hear it, and I don't believe it. I get up and .. do some celebrating. I accept my medal, and sit down in my seat with pride.
What a long story. But really, it felt so good to have accomplished something for once. To prove myself and others that I can do it. That I have what it takes. To gain respect from my peers and my parents. It was good stuff. I remember last year, not placing. I thought, whatever. It's not that big of a deal. It's okay. But I realize how stupid that is. Of course it feels good to win, I was so .. excuse my less than extensive diction, happy. Now I just have to keep this up.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
2010 - 2011
2010
Fell for a girl. Multiple girls. MANY girls. MANY times. Just kidding. But there was that one special one that of course, got away.
Got good grades. In regular school of course. I'm maintaining a pretty good GPA for once :)
Got a bad college grade. Sucked hard in my english 101. I don't understand why, but whatever. It's done.
Lost best friends/regular friends. Gained new best friend. Sad, but it happens.
This is.. blogging is difficult. I don't have anything to say. This year was just. Blah. Nothing to it, really. Nothing remarkable, that I remember. It was just boring stressful and stupid.
2011
Graduate. Get into a good college.
Find that girl.
Road trip.
Go crazy.
Get a good job. Start a company/business. Do something crazy.
That's all I want to do. What else is there?
Life is so boring. I'm so unsatisfied. So bland.. so generic. Everyday is the same thing. Every week is the same.
A copy of a copy of a copy.
I'm just cruising, and there isn't much in the way.
Wow. Compared to last years new year post, I'm so indifferent and apathetic. But that's the way it goes.
Hi blogger. I'll be here more often. Missed this
Fell for a girl. Multiple girls. MANY girls. MANY times. Just kidding. But there was that one special one that of course, got away.
Got good grades. In regular school of course. I'm maintaining a pretty good GPA for once :)
Got a bad college grade. Sucked hard in my english 101. I don't understand why, but whatever. It's done.
Lost best friends/regular friends. Gained new best friend. Sad, but it happens.
This is.. blogging is difficult. I don't have anything to say. This year was just. Blah. Nothing to it, really. Nothing remarkable, that I remember. It was just boring stressful and stupid.
2011
Graduate. Get into a good college.
Find that girl.
Road trip.
Go crazy.
Get a good job. Start a company/business. Do something crazy.
That's all I want to do. What else is there?
Life is so boring. I'm so unsatisfied. So bland.. so generic. Everyday is the same thing. Every week is the same.
A copy of a copy of a copy.
I'm just cruising, and there isn't much in the way.
Wow. Compared to last years new year post, I'm so indifferent and apathetic. But that's the way it goes.
Hi blogger. I'll be here more often. Missed this
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
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