Dreams

Last summer, I dreamt so many vivid and long dreams that left me waking up with crazy ideas. Just because of dreams, I spent days focused on ideas that the dream brought me. For example, I dreamt of something that I lost and regretted, and when I woke up, I tried to get back in touch with that lost person.
Nostalgia is always brought after waking up. Sometimes I wake up depressed, and wish that I was living in that dream, that fantasy.
I had developed a perfect way to dream in a way where I was able to recall every detail. I would close my blinds, no alarm, lock the door, turn off music, and sleep. Since it was during the summer, I slept in to at least 1. After sleeping for that long, dreams came to me quickly and vividly.
Nowadays, I can't even remember a single detail of a dream, but I know I dreamt it. I can't dream anymore, because school is always on my mind and interferes with my sleep. I wake up with the immediate feeling the dream gave me. For today, it was nostalgia of old times, summer, hanging out at my old apartment with my neighbors. Just thinking about it stirs warm feelings in my stomach. I can't even remember the dream that brought these emotions. It's weird and stupid.

Dreams are so mysterious. They're adventures and stories. They're scary and romantic.
I used to think that people in my head would watch movies in my head, and those movies were my dreams.

Anyways, it's time that I sleep now, and hopefully I'll have a nice dream.
I dream in color.

My Quirks

First, let me bring to your attention that I've removed several people from the friends and favorites part of my sidebar. They were the ones who aren't active.
I can't stress how much I like reading people's blogs, and seeing everyone stop was a disappointment. Nevertheless, I will continue to compose these random blurbs and thoughts.

I am a weird person. Much weirder than you may think. Here are a bunch of 15 facts that reveal bits of me that I'm certain you've never known.

1. I have a weird walk/swagga. I tend to bounce on each step. Why? Because I tend to be thinking a beat and I bounce along with it.

2. This isn't really weird, but I've never given in to drugs or alcohol. Never. Not even a sip. Weird? Not for me. It's disgusting.

3. I'm more comfortable with girls than guys. It's not that I like them, I just gravitate towards them for some reason. AP Lit video was me and 7 girls (I think?)

4. I can't STAND THE SOUND/FEELING OF: HAIR PULLING. Not really hair pulling but fuzz pulling. IT HURTS THINKING ABOUT IT. Like, when there's hair stuck in velcro, and you try to pull it out. It makes that noise. Or the fuzz on the bottom of the couch, when you pull that out FIRCK IT HURTS. Also, the feeling of scraping ice! AHHH. I hate it. Even though I love ice skating, thinking about it gives me the shivers.

5. I don't mind the sound of nails on chalkboard or knifes scraping against forks or plates. Same with the wind noise in the car or something.

6. I can't sleep without something touching my forehead. If I don't have anything there I get an instant headache. It started happening after I got really sick one time. So now I can't sleep facing the ceiling.

7. If a heater's on in a car, I can't breathe. The hot air gets all up in my noise and I start to get light headed.

8. I'm a computer nerd.

9. I take 2-3 showers a day. I don't like being dirty.

10. I brush my teeth only in the shower (unless I go out).

11. If I sleep with a shirt on, I sweat uncontrollably.

12. My face gets really red when I'm hot. I'm always hot.

13. I'm paranoid whenever I'm in the car and think about every scenario which ends up in me crashing and dying. Started happening after the car accident.

14. After I play tetris for a long time I start to playing tetris in my head whenever I close my eyes.

15. I can't sleep without music or else I start thinking about demons and other scary things.



That's a lot things that I bet you didn't know about me. Anyways, it's time for me to sleep. Goodnight! I'll add more if I think of anything.

Life: A Three Course Meal

Life is a three course meal. I was eating dinner and I just realized that my life was essentially presented in front of me, metaphorically speaking. Well, not life in general, but our day. It consisted of meat, rice, and other compliments such as kimchi or onions. I'm pretty sure that this analogy has been done a million times, but it doesn't hurt to be done once more.
Basically, the rice represent the routines that we have in our lives, the things that we can't go through the day without doing.

So I actually made this into analogies of analogies and metaphors into metaphors. It's really confusing to write out, and it made sense in my head. I'll try my best to make sense and not sound stupid.

Anyways, what I want to say is that breakfast, lunch, and dinner represent our day (or life??). Breakfast would be whatever we do in the morning. The toast, waking up. The eggs, showering. The bacon, getting out of the house, doing whatever. Lunch comes around, which takes place during the most fun of the day. You eat lunch mostly while doing some sort of activity (that's how I picture lunch: a bunch of kids frolicking in a field with a picnic basket that has lunch inside). A sandwich represents our friends, chips would be the extra fun, the crunch and snap.
Then you finish it off with dinner. Sometimes dinner isn't the greatest meal of the day. My dinner consists of meat, rice, and vegetables. You eat the rice, which HAS to be there. In my day, that would be relaxation and chilling. Then there's the meat. Oh boy the meat is the best part, but it can't be enjoyed (for me) without the rice. I guess this represents my computer or whatever I do while relaxing. Maybe sleep. And if I'm lucky, then I won't have the vegetables, which I despise. Homework. The things that you leave last, bunched up on one edge of the plate. You make sure it doesn't mix with the rest of your meal, or else it'll somehow taint it without it's disgusting-ness (when I think of gross vegetables I think of green beans, those steamed gross things, not from the pea pod). Gross.

Today, I must say that I went without lunch and dinner consisted of an extra serving of vegetables. Time to eat!

2009: A Year to Remember, and Never Forget

This post was meant to be posted on New Years Eve, but I gave it thought. I gave it a lot of thought: more than a week to ponder what my big blog post would be. I spent many showers, many hours, thinking of what to write about. I also had moments where I thought, screw it: I’ll just make it a simple happy new years post. But I couldn’t... There was way too much in my mind that was just about to burst about the year of 2009.

2009. Something Of The Past. So much change, so much love, so much hate. I can easily tell you that the year of 2009 was no doubt the very best. 1 out of 16 years of my life deemed the best. That should tell you a lot. There were so many things that were brought into my life in such little time, and so many people were introduced who would soon become very meaningful to me.

Change. I have become a child to a young adult. I have yet to acquire full maturity, and I hope that I never will. Being a child is fun, but being an adult is important. So I name myself the child-adult-wanna-be. Just kidding that’s weird. But yes. There has been SO MUCH CHANGE from 2009-2010. Looking back, I remembered where I was almost one year ago, on New Years Eve. I was in Richmond beach, at a New Years party. The people around me were drunk; people were smoking. It was the first time that I’ve ever had experienced the smell of weed. I saw my friends become pressured to try it, “it’s fun.” I of course, have strong morals and would never submit to such stupidity. Around that time, I was a delinquent. I cussed every other word. I stole. I did many things that weren’t morally correct, even though I thought myself to be. I thought, “Well compared to my friends, I’m the angel in the group.” This isn’t as true as I’d hope to be. My thoughts, my intentions, my inner being was not as pure as I thought it was.

This year had its tough times. I’ve lost so many friends. There are people who I miss so much, knowing that it’ll never be how it used to be. There are so many people who I have lost communication with, and I will hope that I will never forget anyone who has ever even touched my life. I met girls, girls who became more than friends. These people will also never be forgotten, as they have forever made an imprint in my life. I made best friends. I lost them. I hung around a bad crowd. There were just so many things that were wrong and bad in my life, but that was my best year at school. I was happiest that year than other years. Compared to my freshmen year, it was like a switch from hell to on Earth, still far from heaven.

I’m beginning to feel a bit nostalgic. Then again, who wouldn’t be? There were so many emotional moments that happened, so many events that were regarded as amazing. So many firsts, so many lasts. I can’t even begin a list of events that I would think were meaningful. I can try, however, and the list begins with friends. I have met so many new people this year than I ever have prior to this year: so many people who brought change in my life. Most importantly, I met a new family. A safe haven for when I need to retreat, is there for me with open arms. It was GPC. I can tell you that I love every member of this one large family. They will always be there for me no matter what the circumstances. I’m not sure that many of you can say the same: that they have an entire community there to back you up when the going gets tough. I will never forget the immense love that we have for one another, and the deep emotions that we have. I’ve never met such brothers who were so open and loving. These brothers are whom I love to be around with, and I hope that it’s the same the other way around. Without them, I’d be nothing: a lonely soul battling through life. This family accepted me. They know and love me for who I am. I’m truly lucky to have met such wonderful people.

I would love to talk about specifics, but I know that would just take way too long. Gosh, it’s so much. I really, really pray and wish that I will never forget any of the life-changing moments, such inspiring events, encapsulating revelations that I have experienced this year. And most importantly, I am thankful that I have been introduced to God.

Random things that keep popping in my mind:
First sunRISE
HOMECOMING…
Girlfriend
Bestfriend
Retreat
Lots of girls…
Lots of guys! No homo
MEXICO
CAR CRASH

Last year was an epitome of who I was, and what I lacked.
This year, it will about who I am, what I will learn, and what I will become.
I’m not sure that I’m ready to tackle it, but I must. 2009 was a thing of the past: it’s time to focus on the present and the future.
I hope that I will, in fact, be able to write about the end of 2010, and the beginning of a whole new 2011: The year of my graduation, the year of transformation and the apotheosis of high school. I wonder what this year has in store of me.

My resolution:
To change someone's life, for the better.