SICK and TIRED [11.03.09]

Brotha, I am sick and tired. Literally and figuratively. I’m sick right now and I’ve got a nasty cough and sore throat. I guess it’s okay because I don’t have a stuffy nose, but I feel it coming up next. That’s the thing I hate most: a stuffed up nose. When my nose it’s blocked, I can’t even breathe right. With this lack of oxygen reaching my brain, I just don’t feel like I’m there. My eyes are seeing things, but what am I even looking at? My mind doesn’t even process what I do when I’m sick. I shouldn’t be going to school; I can’t pay attention when I’m sick. I have 7 packets of vocab words to memorize, which shouldn’t take too long.

I had a job interview today at American Eagle Outfitters. Do I want the job? Sure. Would I care if I didn’t get the job? Probably not, but if everyone else got the job, then I would care. I wasn’t nervous or scared, it’s just a job interview. Something I’m good at is winging it. Unless it’s something I should have studied for. Presentations, interviews, anything that requires speech is easy for me. I can speak well and proper, it’s just natural for me. I go too fast though, and sometimes stumble on my words but that’s easy to fix. For the interview, I didn’t dress up nice or pretend to be someone else. I think that that’s stupid; to go to a job interview pretending to be interested or caring. I went in the clothes I usually wear everyday. I don’t own any American Eagle clothes, except for a jacket. Won’t stop me from working.
I saw a bird today outside the mall. It had a broken foot. You could say that I was pretty concerned for it, and I wanted to help it in some way. I wasn’t lying in my interview when I said that I like helping people. I wanted to help this bird, as it was just sad to see it hop around with one foot. What am I supposed to do in a situation like that? I wanted to draw enough attention on it so that someone would come along, look at me looking at the bird, and then they would be able to help it. I guess this just shows what kind of a person I am. And then what really pissed me off is that two people ran up the bird and tried to kick it. I mean wtf? They were like in their mid twenties and they’re trying to kick an injured bird. That pissed me off. But then the bird disappeared after we got Andrew’s food. I wonder what happened to it.

There are many wants, many desires. How many, though, among these wants, are needs? A few, probably. Why can’t people just be content with what they have? I’m not excluding myself; I want tons of stuff that I can’t have. It’s just so weird, how we want things. We try so hard to impress others. We suit the common interest, not our own interests. We do what we think will make other people jealous. We don’t do it for our own happiness, unless you like making people jealous. Actually that’s probably the goal for everyone: to make everyone jealous. Too bad we care so much about what other people think. It’s stupid. I wish the whole world were blind. Wouldn’t that be so much easier? I WISH ADAM AND EVE NEVER SINNED. Then I could walk around naked and not care about anything. Well actually if they never sinned then life would be perfect.
Oh well. I hate clothing. It’s so bothersome.
I hate impressing others but I’m just a hypocrite that follows the general society. Something I don’t want to be. Trying to be unique and trying to impress others ultimately ends up with opposite results. Since everyone tries to be unique, that’s not really unique. There’s nothing/no one really unique anymore, besides the people who are blind and don’t care about what people think/look like.